Accountability Update

So a little over 2 weeks ago I wrote a post about some changes I wanted to make in my life and I wanted to update you on the progress. There has been REAL progress I am happy to report.

First on the list was the whole being over weight thing kind of a big deal, I am happy to report that since that post I am down 6 pounds. Not from starving either from heatly eating and this HARD thing called Running. Did I confess that I wanted to be a runner? I must be crazy, its hard and it hurts and no matter what song is blaring in my ipod I still have to tell myself out loud to keep going. It is getting easier each time I do it, its also getting easier to get myself out there. I have had more energy the past few weeks so much energy that I have played soccer with Caleb and I don't mean kicked the ball... I mean ran after him, defended him blocked goals and kept on asking for more. I think that first time was fun for us both so much so that we have done it a few times since then.

The eating has been cleaner and I let me tell you I feel better, less bloating and other stomach issues it just feels better all the way around, don't get me wrong I still enjoy dairy & the coming off the caffeine as been hard. I am not completely off of it yet. However not smoking was more important to me to I drank the caffeine. The food journal has been a big help. I write down everything I eat & drink. I also write down any physical activity I do for that day even if its a rest day and those are okay to have.

The biggest news is that its been 28 DAYS for the NO SMOKING!! It was Hard way harder than running. However lucky for me it wasn't an emotional thing... It was get the nicotine out and stop wanting it. Gum and hard candy was very instrumental in this for me. There were certain times of the day when I knew I would normally smoke so those were challenging in fighting the urge to do it. I did break on day 5 and took a few hits off of one and it was gross. I didn't want to finish it or do it again and since then I haven't. I think about it less and less. There are a few things that trigger me to want one but I learning to cope with those.

So overall this is going Great. I am running my first 5k October 5th. I am thinking that it wont be pretty but that's alright my goal is going to be to cross the finish line. This is just the start of a long journey but I have to admit I feeling pretty good about it and looking forward to all the things I can accomplish.

" Don't compare yourself to others compare yourself to who were yesterday!" And with that I leave you, feel free to share work outs, running tips, and your favorite music, good music is key to a successful run :)

Thanks for all the support!

Xo,

KB

Middle School Debut

We have had a mile stone in our house this week, Caleb started Middle School. He is a Bronco. He had a nervousness about the idea of middle school all summer, wasn't embracing it at all, didn't even want to talk about it. However like it or not the day was approaching open house was scheduled for five days before the start of the year and there was no change in his attitude towards it. I went into open house optimistic and I had my game face on I was ready until we walked through those gym doors. Controlled Chaos... Ranging hormonal teens, parents, and a wall of names. It was like find where's Waldo minus the red shirt. Finally we locate his name so we head into the gym to get a name tag. Once we are seated I am looking around, taking it all in. Taking in the laughter, shatter, the excitement and the fear. The roaring sound of now 6th graders was LOUD but it sure put a smile on your face.

Once the official 6th graders left for homeroom to meet their teachers and listen to the rules us parents were left for an hour conversation that was terrifying on so many levels. They talked about failure, peer pressure, getting behind, getting a yellow or pink card. (Geesh are we in kindergarten still?? I am having flash backs.) It was alot to take in, as I took notes and looked around the room I was feeling young, defeated, and little hopeless. I took a deep breath and kept going. They herded us like cattle to the 6th grade wing to find our off spring, meet the teachers & spend lots of money in an hour.

I can honestly say one of us left not liking middle school and it wasn't Caleb...It was ME. I wanted nothing to do with anymore my excitement had turned to anxiety & stress and fear of what this year was really going to be like. It sounded like No fun, keeping up with teachers, assignments, homework, projects, lockers, little girls, lunch money and much more. However like it or not Monday morning came full steam ahead and I woke the boy up to start his first day of middle school. We had spent Sunday playing, getting dirty and eating frozen yogurt so 7am on Monday was a little easier for some of us.

He awakened with butterflies in his stomach, had to have just the right amount of gel in his hair. He wore an outfit filled with swag, and he had a grin that made me smile. After only eating half his breakfast and grabbing his backpack we stood outside for a little mother son chat that went something like this.....

Middle School is like a huge puzzle, you are going to try things that don't fit who are, you going to make choices that aren't good, your going to make a wrong turn maybe two but eventually you find your place in the puzzle. Surrounding yourself with other pieces that fit. Good friends, teachers that want to help you succeed, some football games, maybe a girl friend but its filled with lots of fun times these are the times that start to shape you a little more in the man you are meant to be one day. Everything we do happens for a reason, every experience we have in life helps us become who we are supposed to be. Be honest, work hard, play hard, follow no one and most importantly be yourself and stand up for what you believe in including others.

He gave me a few big eyes, & a few grins during my chat, he eventually said 'I got it' then gave me a hug and told me he loved me. This is what happened next.... He walked down the street to catch the bus that was going to start him on his next adventure known as Middle School. 

This is where the tears started to stream down my face under my sun glasses. I cried tears of joy, sadness, fear & even excitement for him for us on the next part of the adventure. Today was day 3 of this new journey and I am still feeling all of the emotions I was three days ago.

Here is to middle school and a year of change. Here is to all the first we will have this year to all the fun to all the trouble he will get himself into.

Like it or not it will be around for the next 3 years...No worries I am holding on Tight.

Xo,

KB 

Summer comes to an end!

With Kylee Madison starting the 4th grade this week I think its safe to say that summer is coming to an end. While we enjoyed it there are a few perks to the return of the school year. Don't get me wrong I am not looking forward to dealing with homework, projects, grumpy kids in the morning, packing lunches etc but there is something about the start of the new school year that is refreshing.

1. The Early bed times: Getting a little me time back!
2. The bank account can get a break now that school supplies have been purchased, Hallelujah!!
3. The grocery trips will be less frequent, SCORE!
4. The kids will be LEARNING for 8 hours a day instead of needing to be entertained or eating you out of the house or worse saying the dreaded I'm bored.  
5. Football Season is starting...Yes GO BUCKS!
6. Seeing old friends that we missed over the summer
7. Meeting new friends
8. Kids sports start back up again. Being a cheerleader every Saturday morning is something I look forward to all week.
9. Crock pot dinners can make a come back: I love Simplicity!
10. Fall is coming: there is something refreshing about a cool crisp morning, a hoodie and nothing beats a good bon fire.

Here is to summer coming to an end and a new school year beginning. I just hope that here in North Carolina we actually get some fall like weather again sooner rather than later.

Kylee's first day of 4th grade ( Cant imagine she left home wearing a 'cheerleading' sweatshirt can you say Cheer on the brain ALL the time. Love that girl. Stay turned next week for our exciting middle school debut!



Xo,
KB

Caleb is 12!

Where does time go? It seems like just yesterday he was toddling around in a diaper and a pair of yellow rain boots. (Somethings don't change now he walks around in his boxer shorts like no one else should care) I cant believe that little blue eyes blond curly haired boy is so big almost as tall as me, not saying much I know.



I mean seriously how cute was he?

He is a sweet boy who does have a rough and tough side. Just ask his little sister. He is so much more:
Compassionate
Caring
Loving
Big hearted
Sports Crazed
Athletic
All boy
Old Soul ( I have said this since day one, he was born the day my Grandfather died & I think that has something to do with it.
Music lover
Dancer (the boy has rhythm)

Here are some highlights while he was 11:
Graduated Elementary school
Learned to shoot guns. ( Thanks to my Mom & Perry)~~ Best part of turning 12 according to him... Moms of boy problems according to me. :)
Played football, basketball & soccer
Learned to Sail this summer
Showed compassion by not only feeding but befriending the homeless. ( Couldn't be more proud)
Went canoeing
Learned to play golf
Had his first best buddy move away
Went to his first College football game (GO BUCKS!)
Went on his first school overnight trip

There is so much more I am sure I leaving off this list but he had a lot of fun that's for sure.

He changed my life forever twelve years ago, he made me a Mommy. He taught me what unconditional love was all about, he taught me to be selfless, he taught me how to be more responsible because I was responsible for him. He has truly blessed my life more than he will ever know and I am so proud to be his Mommy.

As we start the next phase of life known as Middle School... I am a nervous wreck, I worry about the choices that he will make, the friends he will choose, the failures he will have, the hormones, the GIRLS, but most of all I am scared I am going to loose my little boy. I know these next few years are going to be fun & exciting, however they will also be filled with learning, fear, discouragement, anger, joy, failure, victories and much more. No matter how much things change the fact that I will stand beside him in all that he does will NEVER change. I will always be your biggest cheerleader no matter what life throws your way. I love you to the moon and back buddy and always will.

Happy 12th Birthday, cant wait to see what this year brings for you.

Xo,
Mommy

Seeking Accountablity in more ways than one!

So typically resolutions are made in January with the whole new year new me crap. Never liked that idea. Just setting yourself up for failure. This year for me was about discovery, trying new things and getting healthy, did great on ALL those for a while and then fell off the block. Someone once told me you can start your day over whenever you want to... So with that said I am starting my resolutions over again with about half the year left and I am okay with that.

Admitting faults:

I am tired of being fat.. The look, the feel and toll it has taken on my 5'1 body frame. Point: Tired of being a fat ass. Time to MOVE, and make it happen!

2nd on the list: I have been smoking now for 5 years, started socially and then turned into a habit. One I enjoyed other than the smell, & the price. It has been my crutch. Not anymore. HARDEST thing I may have ever done, other than run. (More on that later) I am going Cold Turkey no drugs, patch or gum. Just want to be done. Doctor said it takes 10 days until its out of your system.... Counting the days!

The last admission today... I want to be a RUNNER! There is something freeing about putting on a pair of tennis shoes grabbing my ipod and just running. I am not a runner right now. But I will be. Found this nifty app on my phone that 'trains' with me over the course of 12 weeks. The goal is to run 20 minutes with not stopping and for some of you that's easy well not for me. So I am good with the goal, if I accomplish it before 12 weeks good for me and if not oh well.

Make a plan:

• Trying to eat cleaner.
• No fast food or eating out for a while.
• Weaning myself off of caffeine in a week.
• Run 5 days a week
• Chew lots of Gum
• Become healthy
• Kick box 3 days a week
• keep a jouranl

Accountability:

I found a person who is going to keep me accountable for all these things however she cant be everywhere all the time. I don't need a 'babysitter' I need to be encouraged.

However I feel good about these changes today because I MADE them, NO ONE else did. No mean words, or someone telling me to do it. I am doing this for ME. I really truly feel that is why I will be successful this time because, I am doing it for me.
Loss 25 pounds by Dec 1st
Stop smoking
Start Running
Here is goes, my new resolution half way through the year. Find myself, dig deep, try new things, push myself, and be healthy.

Xo,
KB

5 days all alone!

I feel like I can finally say I am growing into my own while being on my own. I just spent five days all alone and it was amazing! I walked around in pjs and ate meals for one, was responsible for no one but myself ( and a fish & hamster in which one of I killed...eek! Kids survived the death better than I thought) and it was liberating. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my kids and LOVE being there Mom but this single mom thing can be hard. Parenthood alone is hard. But having to be the Mama and the Dad all time can be rough. Being the fun parent, while being the mean parent, teaching them, disciplining them, running them, paying for everything and feeling alone at times. The daily stress alone is exhausting, working, dinner, running them, laundry ect is enough to make me crazy. I have good days and bad days as a parent. I am far from perfect I make lots of mistakes and I learn new things about my kids and myself everyday. My biggest lesson is I am stronger than I think and my kids are more resilient than I think thank goodness.
Don't get me wrong I have amazing family support and the best friends a girl could ask for but when your a single parent its all you!
I would love to find that someone who makes our life's better, who loves us all and in time I truest there is someone for me and my kids but until then, I am good with the quite and I am good with learning new things! Like how to work a blower and I will over take the weed whacker in time I promise. So if you know a single parent don't feel sorry for them, encourage them, hug them, invite them over for wine and know that they are doing there best!
All I can do every day is keep going and have as much fun as we can, and when I get the chance to be alone TAKE it and know that I will be okay while alone. Here is to coming into my own even more everyday, and digging for more that I didn't think I could do. ( heck, want to d I for that matter!) but hey I have survived sleepless nights, lots of vomit, sick kids, sleep overs, sporting games and much more and I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. Here is to my next adventure.
Xo,
KB

Summer Fun List

Summer List:

1. Night Swim
2. Sleep in a tent (yep it was 48 degree's in OH)
3. Eat S'mores!  
4. Water balloon fight.
5. Catch Lighting bugs.
6. Stay up late
7. Visit a farmers market
8. Go on an adventure
9. Dance
10. Watch a sunset
11. Play in the Ocean
12. Ice Cream Sundaes
13. Bike rides
14. Play in the rain
15. Day trip
16. Sleepover
17. Journal
18. Read books
19. Play putt putt
20. Movie Night
21. Dates with Mom
22. Volunteer
23. Free Concert
24. Visit Family
25. Kids cook dinner night
26. Game nights
27. Be crafty!
28. Star gaze
29. Learn something new
30. Baseball game
31. Photo Shoots
32. Flash light tag
33. Lake days
34. Canoe
35. Go to a yard sale
36. Hike in the mountains

Going to add more as the summer days get longer!

Cant wait to share some of our adventures.

Happy Summer!

Xo,

KB