Kylee's 1st All Star Cheer Competition

I am a little late with this post however my girl finally got to experience the rush of an auditorium with all eyes on her doing what she loves most, Cheering! This has become quite the passion for her, she eat, sleeps & breaths it literally ALL she thinks about. Can't wait to see where this takes her one day, who knows maybe a college cheerleader for our Buckeys. Where ever it takes her I sure am proud of her & her hard work and dedication she is always striving to be better or learn the next stunt to better herself. 

After a 5am wake up call to travel to Greensboro NC here are some pics from her big day. 

 

These girls above are part of her stunt group, they are super close & love being together ❤️

Some of her teammates hope to get a better group shot at the next competition. 

This is Kylee after her performance wearing her 2nd place medal. She was so funny so said " I was so excited I could have puked"! Glad she didn't ;) She was awesome her facial expressions were priceless, her coach said to me we didn't put her front & center for nothing. That's my girl has a flair for the dramatics just like her Mama did. (I hate to admit that, however I loved performing on stage too) 

So proud of this girl, I am no longer a 'Rookie' Cheer Mom so bring it on December 14th. 

Xo, 

KB (one proud Mama) 

Thankful & need YOUR Help!

I have so many things to be thankful for this year. I have my health and my new found streghth. I have motherhood & two amazing kids that call me Mommy. They aren't perfect nor is our charmed life. The stress, homework, hormones and moments of failure seem to get the best of me at times however no amount of chaos would keep me from doing it ALL over again. They are my biggest accomplishment and I love them with all of my heart, even when they fight, scream and don't listen ;) Time is starting to feel like something I don't have a lot of. They are becoming people and I am proud of who they are and the things that they are doing. 

I am blessed with an amazing family, my parents may not have always agreed with my choices but they have always been there for me. I wouldn't be where I am today without them. All 4 of them! 

Coming up on the season of giving I have decided to help a friend who deserves and needs help; she is a selfless mother who goes without so her child can have. She worries about how to pay bills & put food on the table but does her best to keep her fears hidden while being a Mom. This year I want to make sure providing a Christmas for her son and something special for her is done. So with that I ask that you think about helping her out. Any amount would be amazing. I would like to surprise her with a gift card so she can play Santa & put some food in the fridge. I would also like to take her son out to shop for his Mama, so he can wrap a present and place it under the tree for her. Something that probably hasn't happened in a long time. If you interested in helping please call or email me. 

If al else be thankful this year be thankful for everything in your life. The chaos, the lack of sleep, the worry and the fun, the little things in life. Don't let it pass you by. 

I am forever greatful for my life, my family & my fiends you have all made me who I am today. Love you all. 

If you are interested in donating please call or email me. 

#980-475-4612

k_bush4182@hotmail.com

Best wishes, 

KB 

Which direction does your parenting Compass point?!

I love my kids so much, they are my whole world. I wanted them for as long as I could remember, I always knew that I wanted to be a Mom. I just never imagined raising them in a broken home & alone. I feel like the worldly stuff, the anger, the hurt, the stress, the financial burden, the being tired has at times caused me to be the Mom I never wanted to be. The kind that yelled, and shamed my own children for the sin of another, unable to control my irrational behavior, the sad Mom who just didn't want to deal with the situation, the one who cried in the bathroom, cried at night, tried to hide the pain by pushing it down deeper & deeper every day, the one with the brave front and the smile to fool a stranger. Don't get me wrong I am not claiming to be a bad Mom, I am claiming that I had moments so far in motherhood that I am not proud of, moments I want to forget however the 'New' me is telling myself to feel the pain, to face it to own up to wrong way I parented so that I can learn from it, and try my best Every day to be a better parent. To be the best parent aside from my environment. Yes I may have a bad day, or a headache or worried about the bills but those are NOT my children's worries, and they don't deserve to be on the other end of my frustration. I want to teach them, I want them to learn from there mistakes, try there best, admit when they are wrong and so much more. In order to do that I need to remember that they are still kids, that growing is a process, it doesn't happen over night.

I want to parent, so that I am teaching them not throwing stones at them. It is not my job to judge them, it is my job to teach them right from wrong and explain to them what is expected, how God would want us to live. I read a few articles today that I am sure I was meant to read the first one was about telling the little nagging voice in your head to GO AWAY, that they aren't welcome. To remind myself that I too am human, I mess up, I have bad days, I have done wrong, but most importantly I have been forgiven and I get to try again to do better. That I am one person meaning I can only do so much, I cant do and be everything I want and I am learning to be okay with that, I am believer in seasons and right now I am being a Mom, a better Mom, a forgiving Mom, a Praying Mom, a Mom that is excited to see what is in store for my little family. I am reminded often how blessed I am, to have two amazing, healthy, smart, loving kids and boy do they love me, I needed to hear myself say that, They Love Me! They look up to me, the see the strength that I don't see at times, they are proud of me, and I of them. Being a parent is hard, every single child is different every single child is special, and as a parent you know your child better than anyone else in the world. I love them so much, I want to protect them, guide them, fix things, help them, laugh with them, play with them and be with them,

This brings me to the next article I read, about parenting with Mercy. The word Mercy means to show Compassion or forgiveness towards someone whom it is within ones power to punish or harm. This gave me chills, this made me think about how to parent, the made me think about how to speak to them, the tone in my voice, the look on my face while talking to them. I was shown earlier in the week that the word 'Compass' is in the word Compassion, compass being something that we use to find our way. I needed to be reminding in the direction I was going to handle this parenting of a preteen the changes the stress the hormones it had been weighing on me and I had begun to pray for guidance for more strength for I was feeling weak. Caleb is learning about maps, direction and the compass this week in school, as I helped him review for a test using this word so many times it didn't hit me until we had a rough last hour of the night. The kids both got into trouble for not being honest, and one got in trouble in school and didn't tell me. Needless to say my reaction wasn't pleasant and everyone went to bed in tears, myself included. I felt defeated I felt angry that I had to do it alone, I felt sad, a good friend reminded me that I am human, that in the morning I could said I'm sorry, I could hug them and I could remind them that today is a new day and that is just what I did.

After I dropped them to school I rolled the window down a bit enjoyed the breeze on my face, drank my coffee and soaked in the start of a new day. I was reminded through the Parenting with Mercy article to do just that, to not call it a time out chair to call it the Mercy chair, to have my child reflect on why they were there but most importantly to reflect with them, to take that moment to teach them, to forgive them and to restore order and peace in our home and our hearts. I don't want them going to bed upset with me anymore I want us going to bed at PEACE as a family. Being a parent is hard, finding balances for protecting, allowing failure, teaching them to work through fears, loving them so hard and most importantly forgiving them and showing them how to be compassionate and how to receive compassion and somewhere along the way there I believe that your own compass leads you to exactly where you are supposed to be. No matter what is going on in your life remember that your kids still deserve the best of you, also remember we all make mistakes we all do things we are not proud of we all get to be forgiven and start again. Where is your compass leading you? Remember that the road you are on right now doesn't mean its the road to your final destination.

Xo,

KB  



Dear Letters!

A friend of mine does these on her blog and I think I could benefit from writing out some of these dear letters that occur in my head . Basically these are letters that you saying out loud would not be appropriate, however saying them like this can make you feel better. I sure hope so because I have somethings building up, I may explode here soon.

My Dear Letters:

Dear Lady Checking out in front of me @ the Grocery Store,
I realize we all get old and one day I hope I am blessed to get around town on my own as long as you however it should not take 8 minutes for you to write out a check. I wish your son or daughter or grandchildren would introduce you to the Debit Card, it takes a swap and the tap of a few buttons and your done. No more check writing needed!

Dear Caleb,
I will hunt down who ever buys you anymore AXE body spray! I have three little words for you my boy, LESS IS MORE!!

Dear Middle School Teachers,
Like I have time to work a full time job, play taxi driver, cook meals, help with homework all before 9pm oh and check ALL 6 of your web pages every night or every other night to make sure my kid wrote down his homework. Cant we make this easier? One site per team? Something. I am OVERWHELMED and I am just the parent.

Dear Direct TV,
When you send a customer a statement saying "this is your FINAL bill" one would think there would be NO more drafts made. So when you drafted my account 18 days ago by mistake and the next day when I called to get you to refund my account you informed me that since I was no longer an ACTIVE customer I would receive a check in 7 to 10 business days. Now 18 days later I am told that the check was issued on the 12th and could take 30 days to reach me. 30 DAYS??? Then you had the nerve to ask me how you could get me to return to direct TV again. I am assuming the sound of the dial tone helped you with that answer.

Dear Lady on my street with the small toy dog NEVER on a Leash,
I pride myself in being a cautious driver on neighborhood streets, we have street parking and kids galore so I am on pins and needles driving down my street each night and now I have to keep my eyes open for your dog who is the size of a squirrel who runs the street. I have almost hit your dog more times then I can count on one hand and I don't appreciate your dirty looks as you run into the street after him. GET A LEASH!!! And we wouldn't have this problem, or better yet a stroller.

Dear Panthers,
You make loosing look easy! You make millions of dollars, your fans would enjoy seeing a great game every now and then, a game that doesn't require loosing in the 4th quarter. A game where the quarter back throws the ball for touch downs and we stop settling for field goals that are only worth 3 points. Please just look like you are trying this Sunday, I know its the GIANTS and we don't really stand a chance with Peyton and all but we would like something worth cheering for.

Dear Kylee,
I love you and I love your passion for Cheer & Tumble but at 8:45pm when you have said 'hey Mom watch this' 300 times already sometimes I fantasize about screaming ' No, I don't want to watch'!

Dear Friends who have 'ADULT' Birthdays every year,
I will be the first to tell you happy birthday,  I will sing to you, send you a sweet message maybe even a card. However I will not and cannot go to your birthday dinners every year. I am a single mom of two VERY expensive children. Cheerleading, Soccer, Food and Gas suck the life out of my bank account each month, not to mention buying my kids friends birthday presents. This does not mean that I don't LOVE you in any way shape or form , it means if you want to drink a bottle of cheap wine outside and laugh I am all in but babysitters, dinner, and drinks I am all out. Hope you have a blast.  Adult birthdays that I will celebrate, 21,30,40, 50, 60 ect. and please give me enough notice so that I may enter in my monthly budget. Some of you will read this and think I am being cheap but when you have one income for 3 people I have to be realistic. Again this doesn't mean I don't care about you, it means I admitting I am poor.

Dear Fax Machine @ work,
Your constant beeping is making me want to throw you out of the window.

I have to admit I feel better, no one was yelled at directly during this rant. This was not to be taken personally this was all in good fun, things I wish I could say or needed to say out loud please don't take them personally. Would love to hear your dear letters, do share!

Xo,
KB

  

My response to Mrs.Hall's open letter to teenage girls...

Weekly Confessions

So its been a while since I did one of these but I am feeling like I should start up again especially with the start of the new school year. So here it goes:

1. I absolutly hate hair gel. (My son needs to learn to apply)
2. The smell of a 12 year old boy after he sprays himself, the bathroom hell the entire upstairs of the house with Axe is awful, can you say GAG! I need to work on the less is more motto with him.
3. I wish I could shave as infrequently as my daughter.  
4. The snooze button is the devil.
5. Blisters suck.
6. I feel like I look like I am running from a swarm of bee's when I run.
7. I downloaded the One Direction song 'Best Song Ever' & I sing it loudly in the car by myself. 
8. Helping children with Math homework can cause tears.
9. I havent cooked a meal all week, all three days of the week so far...Tuesday, Wednsday,and Thursday.
10. Going to bed before 10pm during the week is PRICELESS!

That is all I have for today, please feel free to share some of your confessions with me.

Xo,
KB

Facing my fear

Facing my fears I know sounds a little cliche but its the truth, I am not talking about the heights, bugs or snakes I am talking about real life. I am talking about facing yourself in the mirror at 6am with no make up on, messy hair, black circles under your eyes kind of looking in the mirror. Being able to face your past, your fears, your darkest places and be able to keep loving yourself. It started at a young age for me I liked helping other people, it was easier than focusing on my own issues. The older I got I continued to look for reasons to not focus on myself or better myself. I didn't want to face myself. I have spent my 30's looking back, soul searching, searching reasons, searching for clarity, searching for a way to love myself. Not in a cheesy I am pretty sort of way but in the raw, really LOVE myself. Love who I am, love what I have to offer someone else, love myself as a mother and for me learning to LOVE someone else without the fear of being hurt or not loved back.

I spent the better part of my young adult life raising two babies on my own, struggling to fit, trying to be someone I wasn't in order for some guy to love me who I would later learn didn't deserve my love. I spent time believing his lies, believing that I wasn't enough, believing I was just some fat girl who no one would ever love. That is as real life as it gets for me. In those times of sadness & anger I did things, I said things I made awful choices. Choices I am not proud of but they were mine and I have owned them. They are my past they don't define me. I am pretty sure everyone wants to be loved, every girl dreams of a fairytale prince someone that loves her, dotes on her, adores her and would do anything for her. Again cliche I know, but real. I have thrown myself into motherhood, I know that I am a good Mom, I know my kids are loved and taken care of and I do the homework, projects, car pool, school functions, sports, ect and I love it, all but maybe the homework :) The point I am making is that I wonder if my fear of wanting or looking for love has not only hurt me but my kids as well. I never allowed anyone else to get close to them due to my own fear. I question is it too late for them to except someone in my life and in their lives. I never let anyone in to help me raise them, or teach them, I never had a partner in this journey. I wonder if this is just another fear ridden excuse. I want to find my best friend, someone to laugh with, someone to cuddle, someone to enjoy family time with. And I trust that time will come for me. I can no longer doubt myself, I can no longer believe the hurtful lies of another, I can no longer live in fear.

I am however going to make an effort to be happy, smile more, take chances and love my life.

I am going to be grateful for all the blessing I have. I am going to enjoy motherhood, I am going to try laughing when I feel like crying, I am going to fight for what I want, I am going to leave my Past in the PAST! I am going to try new things, take risks and live my life. I am tired of being sad, I am tired of feeling sorry for myself.

I am going to remind myself of this everyday:

I am amazing, unique and beautiful! I need nothing else in order to be happy. I am perfect just the way I am, yes I am imperfectly perfect. So I am going to smile, love and enjoy every moment of my life. I am going to remember to dance in the rain and not wait for the storm to end, I am going love my imperfections, I am going believe that anything is possible. I am going to remind myself I am much STRONGER than I think, remind myself that its not the mountain we conquer its ourselves. And most importantly that everyday may not be good, but there is something good in everyday.

Looking in the mirror at 6am with no make up on, & messy hair has gotten a little easier for me, I would be lying if I said I loved what I saw but I am certainly smiling back at her more than before. The life we live is a journey, it has many chapters and characters some that are around longer than others. Growing up means knowing when to end a chapter that you have held onto for so long, letting go of the shield, tearing down the walls you built for protection and really start living the life you were meant to live. So here is to a new chapter in my story, whether I find true love or not will remain to be seen, however I know this chapter includes loving myself, letting go of the past, trying new things and being happy.

Xo,

KB

Accountability Update

So a little over 2 weeks ago I wrote a post about some changes I wanted to make in my life and I wanted to update you on the progress. There has been REAL progress I am happy to report.

First on the list was the whole being over weight thing kind of a big deal, I am happy to report that since that post I am down 6 pounds. Not from starving either from heatly eating and this HARD thing called Running. Did I confess that I wanted to be a runner? I must be crazy, its hard and it hurts and no matter what song is blaring in my ipod I still have to tell myself out loud to keep going. It is getting easier each time I do it, its also getting easier to get myself out there. I have had more energy the past few weeks so much energy that I have played soccer with Caleb and I don't mean kicked the ball... I mean ran after him, defended him blocked goals and kept on asking for more. I think that first time was fun for us both so much so that we have done it a few times since then.

The eating has been cleaner and I let me tell you I feel better, less bloating and other stomach issues it just feels better all the way around, don't get me wrong I still enjoy dairy & the coming off the caffeine as been hard. I am not completely off of it yet. However not smoking was more important to me to I drank the caffeine. The food journal has been a big help. I write down everything I eat & drink. I also write down any physical activity I do for that day even if its a rest day and those are okay to have.

The biggest news is that its been 28 DAYS for the NO SMOKING!! It was Hard way harder than running. However lucky for me it wasn't an emotional thing... It was get the nicotine out and stop wanting it. Gum and hard candy was very instrumental in this for me. There were certain times of the day when I knew I would normally smoke so those were challenging in fighting the urge to do it. I did break on day 5 and took a few hits off of one and it was gross. I didn't want to finish it or do it again and since then I haven't. I think about it less and less. There are a few things that trigger me to want one but I learning to cope with those.

So overall this is going Great. I am running my first 5k October 5th. I am thinking that it wont be pretty but that's alright my goal is going to be to cross the finish line. This is just the start of a long journey but I have to admit I feeling pretty good about it and looking forward to all the things I can accomplish.

" Don't compare yourself to others compare yourself to who were yesterday!" And with that I leave you, feel free to share work outs, running tips, and your favorite music, good music is key to a successful run :)

Thanks for all the support!

Xo,

KB

Middle School Debut

We have had a mile stone in our house this week, Caleb started Middle School. He is a Bronco. He had a nervousness about the idea of middle school all summer, wasn't embracing it at all, didn't even want to talk about it. However like it or not the day was approaching open house was scheduled for five days before the start of the year and there was no change in his attitude towards it. I went into open house optimistic and I had my game face on I was ready until we walked through those gym doors. Controlled Chaos... Ranging hormonal teens, parents, and a wall of names. It was like find where's Waldo minus the red shirt. Finally we locate his name so we head into the gym to get a name tag. Once we are seated I am looking around, taking it all in. Taking in the laughter, shatter, the excitement and the fear. The roaring sound of now 6th graders was LOUD but it sure put a smile on your face.

Once the official 6th graders left for homeroom to meet their teachers and listen to the rules us parents were left for an hour conversation that was terrifying on so many levels. They talked about failure, peer pressure, getting behind, getting a yellow or pink card. (Geesh are we in kindergarten still?? I am having flash backs.) It was alot to take in, as I took notes and looked around the room I was feeling young, defeated, and little hopeless. I took a deep breath and kept going. They herded us like cattle to the 6th grade wing to find our off spring, meet the teachers & spend lots of money in an hour.

I can honestly say one of us left not liking middle school and it wasn't Caleb...It was ME. I wanted nothing to do with anymore my excitement had turned to anxiety & stress and fear of what this year was really going to be like. It sounded like No fun, keeping up with teachers, assignments, homework, projects, lockers, little girls, lunch money and much more. However like it or not Monday morning came full steam ahead and I woke the boy up to start his first day of middle school. We had spent Sunday playing, getting dirty and eating frozen yogurt so 7am on Monday was a little easier for some of us.

He awakened with butterflies in his stomach, had to have just the right amount of gel in his hair. He wore an outfit filled with swag, and he had a grin that made me smile. After only eating half his breakfast and grabbing his backpack we stood outside for a little mother son chat that went something like this.....

Middle School is like a huge puzzle, you are going to try things that don't fit who are, you going to make choices that aren't good, your going to make a wrong turn maybe two but eventually you find your place in the puzzle. Surrounding yourself with other pieces that fit. Good friends, teachers that want to help you succeed, some football games, maybe a girl friend but its filled with lots of fun times these are the times that start to shape you a little more in the man you are meant to be one day. Everything we do happens for a reason, every experience we have in life helps us become who we are supposed to be. Be honest, work hard, play hard, follow no one and most importantly be yourself and stand up for what you believe in including others.

He gave me a few big eyes, & a few grins during my chat, he eventually said 'I got it' then gave me a hug and told me he loved me. This is what happened next.... He walked down the street to catch the bus that was going to start him on his next adventure known as Middle School. 

This is where the tears started to stream down my face under my sun glasses. I cried tears of joy, sadness, fear & even excitement for him for us on the next part of the adventure. Today was day 3 of this new journey and I am still feeling all of the emotions I was three days ago.

Here is to middle school and a year of change. Here is to all the first we will have this year to all the fun to all the trouble he will get himself into.

Like it or not it will be around for the next 3 years...No worries I am holding on Tight.

Xo,

KB 

Summer comes to an end!

With Kylee Madison starting the 4th grade this week I think its safe to say that summer is coming to an end. While we enjoyed it there are a few perks to the return of the school year. Don't get me wrong I am not looking forward to dealing with homework, projects, grumpy kids in the morning, packing lunches etc but there is something about the start of the new school year that is refreshing.

1. The Early bed times: Getting a little me time back!
2. The bank account can get a break now that school supplies have been purchased, Hallelujah!!
3. The grocery trips will be less frequent, SCORE!
4. The kids will be LEARNING for 8 hours a day instead of needing to be entertained or eating you out of the house or worse saying the dreaded I'm bored.  
5. Football Season is starting...Yes GO BUCKS!
6. Seeing old friends that we missed over the summer
7. Meeting new friends
8. Kids sports start back up again. Being a cheerleader every Saturday morning is something I look forward to all week.
9. Crock pot dinners can make a come back: I love Simplicity!
10. Fall is coming: there is something refreshing about a cool crisp morning, a hoodie and nothing beats a good bon fire.

Here is to summer coming to an end and a new school year beginning. I just hope that here in North Carolina we actually get some fall like weather again sooner rather than later.

Kylee's first day of 4th grade ( Cant imagine she left home wearing a 'cheerleading' sweatshirt can you say Cheer on the brain ALL the time. Love that girl. Stay turned next week for our exciting middle school debut!



Xo,
KB

Caleb is 12!

Where does time go? It seems like just yesterday he was toddling around in a diaper and a pair of yellow rain boots. (Somethings don't change now he walks around in his boxer shorts like no one else should care) I cant believe that little blue eyes blond curly haired boy is so big almost as tall as me, not saying much I know.



I mean seriously how cute was he?

He is a sweet boy who does have a rough and tough side. Just ask his little sister. He is so much more:
Compassionate
Caring
Loving
Big hearted
Sports Crazed
Athletic
All boy
Old Soul ( I have said this since day one, he was born the day my Grandfather died & I think that has something to do with it.
Music lover
Dancer (the boy has rhythm)

Here are some highlights while he was 11:
Graduated Elementary school
Learned to shoot guns. ( Thanks to my Mom & Perry)~~ Best part of turning 12 according to him... Moms of boy problems according to me. :)
Played football, basketball & soccer
Learned to Sail this summer
Showed compassion by not only feeding but befriending the homeless. ( Couldn't be more proud)
Went canoeing
Learned to play golf
Had his first best buddy move away
Went to his first College football game (GO BUCKS!)
Went on his first school overnight trip

There is so much more I am sure I leaving off this list but he had a lot of fun that's for sure.

He changed my life forever twelve years ago, he made me a Mommy. He taught me what unconditional love was all about, he taught me to be selfless, he taught me how to be more responsible because I was responsible for him. He has truly blessed my life more than he will ever know and I am so proud to be his Mommy.

As we start the next phase of life known as Middle School... I am a nervous wreck, I worry about the choices that he will make, the friends he will choose, the failures he will have, the hormones, the GIRLS, but most of all I am scared I am going to loose my little boy. I know these next few years are going to be fun & exciting, however they will also be filled with learning, fear, discouragement, anger, joy, failure, victories and much more. No matter how much things change the fact that I will stand beside him in all that he does will NEVER change. I will always be your biggest cheerleader no matter what life throws your way. I love you to the moon and back buddy and always will.

Happy 12th Birthday, cant wait to see what this year brings for you.

Xo,
Mommy

Seeking Accountablity in more ways than one!

So typically resolutions are made in January with the whole new year new me crap. Never liked that idea. Just setting yourself up for failure. This year for me was about discovery, trying new things and getting healthy, did great on ALL those for a while and then fell off the block. Someone once told me you can start your day over whenever you want to... So with that said I am starting my resolutions over again with about half the year left and I am okay with that.

Admitting faults:

I am tired of being fat.. The look, the feel and toll it has taken on my 5'1 body frame. Point: Tired of being a fat ass. Time to MOVE, and make it happen!

2nd on the list: I have been smoking now for 5 years, started socially and then turned into a habit. One I enjoyed other than the smell, & the price. It has been my crutch. Not anymore. HARDEST thing I may have ever done, other than run. (More on that later) I am going Cold Turkey no drugs, patch or gum. Just want to be done. Doctor said it takes 10 days until its out of your system.... Counting the days!

The last admission today... I want to be a RUNNER! There is something freeing about putting on a pair of tennis shoes grabbing my ipod and just running. I am not a runner right now. But I will be. Found this nifty app on my phone that 'trains' with me over the course of 12 weeks. The goal is to run 20 minutes with not stopping and for some of you that's easy well not for me. So I am good with the goal, if I accomplish it before 12 weeks good for me and if not oh well.

Make a plan:

• Trying to eat cleaner.
• No fast food or eating out for a while.
• Weaning myself off of caffeine in a week.
• Run 5 days a week
• Chew lots of Gum
• Become healthy
• Kick box 3 days a week
• keep a jouranl

Accountability:

I found a person who is going to keep me accountable for all these things however she cant be everywhere all the time. I don't need a 'babysitter' I need to be encouraged.

However I feel good about these changes today because I MADE them, NO ONE else did. No mean words, or someone telling me to do it. I am doing this for ME. I really truly feel that is why I will be successful this time because, I am doing it for me.
Loss 25 pounds by Dec 1st
Stop smoking
Start Running
Here is goes, my new resolution half way through the year. Find myself, dig deep, try new things, push myself, and be healthy.

Xo,
KB

5 days all alone!

I feel like I can finally say I am growing into my own while being on my own. I just spent five days all alone and it was amazing! I walked around in pjs and ate meals for one, was responsible for no one but myself ( and a fish & hamster in which one of I killed...eek! Kids survived the death better than I thought) and it was liberating. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my kids and LOVE being there Mom but this single mom thing can be hard. Parenthood alone is hard. But having to be the Mama and the Dad all time can be rough. Being the fun parent, while being the mean parent, teaching them, disciplining them, running them, paying for everything and feeling alone at times. The daily stress alone is exhausting, working, dinner, running them, laundry ect is enough to make me crazy. I have good days and bad days as a parent. I am far from perfect I make lots of mistakes and I learn new things about my kids and myself everyday. My biggest lesson is I am stronger than I think and my kids are more resilient than I think thank goodness.
Don't get me wrong I have amazing family support and the best friends a girl could ask for but when your a single parent its all you!
I would love to find that someone who makes our life's better, who loves us all and in time I truest there is someone for me and my kids but until then, I am good with the quite and I am good with learning new things! Like how to work a blower and I will over take the weed whacker in time I promise. So if you know a single parent don't feel sorry for them, encourage them, hug them, invite them over for wine and know that they are doing there best!
All I can do every day is keep going and have as much fun as we can, and when I get the chance to be alone TAKE it and know that I will be okay while alone. Here is to coming into my own even more everyday, and digging for more that I didn't think I could do. ( heck, want to d I for that matter!) but hey I have survived sleepless nights, lots of vomit, sick kids, sleep overs, sporting games and much more and I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. Here is to my next adventure.
Xo,
KB

Summer Fun List

Summer List:

1. Night Swim
2. Sleep in a tent (yep it was 48 degree's in OH)
3. Eat S'mores!  
4. Water balloon fight.
5. Catch Lighting bugs.
6. Stay up late
7. Visit a farmers market
8. Go on an adventure
9. Dance
10. Watch a sunset
11. Play in the Ocean
12. Ice Cream Sundaes
13. Bike rides
14. Play in the rain
15. Day trip
16. Sleepover
17. Journal
18. Read books
19. Play putt putt
20. Movie Night
21. Dates with Mom
22. Volunteer
23. Free Concert
24. Visit Family
25. Kids cook dinner night
26. Game nights
27. Be crafty!
28. Star gaze
29. Learn something new
30. Baseball game
31. Photo Shoots
32. Flash light tag
33. Lake days
34. Canoe
35. Go to a yard sale
36. Hike in the mountains

Going to add more as the summer days get longer!

Cant wait to share some of our adventures.

Happy Summer!

Xo,

KB

12 Things to make you happier!

1. Show Gratitude
2. Be Optimistic
3. Don't over think
4. Be Kind
5. Be friendly
6. Forgive
7. Learn to Cope
8. Try new things
9. Be Joyful
10. Have Goals
11. Believe in Something
12. Take care of Yourself

Sounds really simple, each day that you can check more and more of those off your list I am certain that your day's will only get better and better. Not saying that you wont have bad ones every now and then but I love the simplicity of this list. Keep it simple and live your life treating others the way you want to be treating. Show some compassion and believe in yourself.

Xo,
KB

Pinterest Idea of the Week...."Mom, I'm Bored" jar!

I have decided that with 1000's of 'Pins' I need to start bringing some of them to life this will be my attempt; once a week I will blog about an idea I pinned. May not be the same day every week lets get real I am too busy to commit to the same day each week. This will range from crafts, to recipes, to cocktails, to parenting idea's and much more. Some will be small, others may make me want to pull my hair out but I am determined to get my 'Crafty' back!

On that note, this one isn't real crafty but I loved the concept. My kids have been out of school now for 12 days and I have heard the words I'm bored at least a dozen between the 2 of them, so when I saw the "Mom, I'm Bored jar" I was thrilled. I created my little jar, then I filled it with loads of things to do for the kids. Some are fun others are not so fun, part of the risk of telling Mama your bored...
Some of my favorites include
1. Dance party
2. Walk the dog
3. Read for 20 minutes
4. Water balloon fight with Mom
5. Math worksheet
6. Play a game
7. Write a journal entry.
8. Wash Mom's car for Free!
9. Watch movie
10. Make a smoothie
Those are just some of my fav's, I thought it would be fun to watch how often the say they are bored all summer while getting to have some fun as well as learn some lessons ;)

Here is my jar.. Not really a jar but cost me no money to do and the kids loved it! We tried it tonight and play a game of P.I.G basketball was drawn we all had fun and Caleb won.

Here is what the inside of the 'Mom jar' looks like.. ( Nothing Fancy)

Here are some of the bordem busters!

I hope I made enough to get through the next 12 weeks, or 84 days however you want to put it. Feel free to share your fun idea's.

Happy Summer!

Xo,

KB

Surviving Summer Break

One week down; 12 more to go. Summer break is something that I start to look forward to in April, once spring break is over its almost like why do they have to go back? It has been one week and I have been quickly reminded.... One vacation down, one fever, one stomach bug down, one clean out the car and do all the laundry after vacation down and my favorite words have begun the dreaded I'm Bored! Here are some ways I plan on surviving summer with my kiddo's.

1. Lots of Summer Cocktails. My  pinterest board named Cocktails is loaded with yummy looking drinks that I cannot wait to Try!
2. Pools, Slip n slides, Lake days, Jet Ski's anything that has to do with WATER!
3. Sunblock--- No Whining sun burnt kids please !
4. Friends--- My friends, people to laugh with and eventually share our summer (misery) fun with!
5. Bug Spray-- I am NOT a fan of mosquito's or the itching. I just hope some new sprays I have found work better than the previous summers.
6. Bone Fires-- Sm ore's are Yummy!
7. Summer Camps--Happy kids, happy Mom's= Priceless!! Well not really more like Bank breaker but worth every penny, they have fun and they come home dirty and exhausted. SCORE!
8. Trips--Day Trip: I have asked each kid to pick 2 day trips of their choice one can cost and one can be free or CHEAP! Each child gets to pick what trip they do with just me. I have to admit I am a little worried about Caleb's choices but hey they are only kids once.
9. Over night trips-- We are venturing to the Outter banks for the first time (for the kids). Caleb is my history boy I am sure he will want to see it all, and Kylee will be happy with playing at the beach.
10. The I'm Bored Buster-- New to our house this summer, this is my latest Pinterest find. Real simple and I the kids will think twice before they me hear they are BORED!!! I will fill a jar with things to do, the catch here is that they are not ALL fun nor do they all have to cost money cause lets face it I am not Rich and wont reward them for being bored. Some of my favorites include.... Make a treat with Mom, Pick up dog poop, Water balloon fight, Clean the toilet, Read for 20 minutes, Watch a movie, Run the Vacuum. The list goes on, use your imagination and create things you know your kids will love and things you know they don't like to do. I am hoping I hear these words a little less this summer and they figure out how to make things fun on there own.

Here is to a Happy, Safe and Fun summer! Hope we all survive.

Xo,
KB

Caleb's 5th grade Graduation

This post is in honor of my boy...

Wow what a road, the road that began when he was too young. I was that broke single Mom who forced her young five year old into kindergarten well before I should have. ( He turned 5 the week before school started, this was before CMS changed the cut off) He had strengths and weakness's however all around he just wasn't to interested in school. So after a long year we made the decision to redo kindergarten to really make sure he had a good foundation for the remaineder of his school years. Best decision I ever made.
He has grown so much, he seems so wise at times and so immature other times I am thinking that's a boy thing. He has such a kind heart. He is compassionate and loving, I love that he still likes to cuddle with his Mama. He is a little heavier now but still my boy. I have to say we havent decided our path for Middle school next year, after being blessed with a small Christian school where they teach more than a lesson plan its hard to pick a place for your child.
For example at Gradation this morning, his principal talked about his wisdom and strong leadership and how he could make anyone laugh. His teacher talked about his serving heart and how he showed acceptance to a homeless man this year who had never experienced that before, I got goosebumps typing it and cried like a baby when I heard it. Those are the lessons he was taught, along with never giving up, and staying true to himself. The words of this school staff has meant more to me than they will ever know. The good they instilled and the time they spent was priceless. I do know that I will have to pick a school here soon but for now I want to cherish this time and enjoy the moment of all of Caleb's accomplishments the last few years. He has made some friendships that will last along time, spending everyday with six kids gives you the chance to really get to know one another. They have a bond like no other, they can protect each other, fight like siblings and have the best time together. With one other boy and five 'Mama' girls to keep him in line, and forgive him and encourage him. Such a great experience for our family. Here is to my boy and all he achieved, I am scared, excited and nervous all rolled into one about what is to come. Freedom, driving, acne, dating, football games,projects,hormones, and lots of friendships that he will have forever so I will pray lots and keep being his Mama the best way I know how to and march on. I love you to the moon and back Caleb Micheal and I am honored to be your Mom.
Bring it on Middle School we got you!

Here are some pictures from our special morning:

One happy boy

His classmates

Caleb with his Great Grandparents

Caleb and his teacher Mrs.Bush

What a special day to end a great year. Now time for some Summer fun! School we will see you back in August.

Xo,

KB 

Summer Break, and the Last day of elementary school

Today is the last official school day with 5th grade graduation tomorrow.I cannot believe my little blond haired blue eyed boy is going to Middle School next year. No more crayons, pencil cases, and one teacher. We are moving on to lockers, lots of teachers and a little bit of freedom and lots of attitude. Part of me is excited and part of me is scared to death. All part of the adventure called life. I am so proud of Caleb; school isn't easy for him and we will have to stay focused and work hard to stay organized, but I have always told him together we can do anything. Even I drink wine from a red solo cup while doing math homework with him. No judging, just doing what I have to do ;) He has learned a lot and been blessed with Teachers that have taught more than just a lesson plan they taught him values and life lessons. I will forever be great full for the extra attention to detail, to the extra time spent with him, to their encouraging words to him and myself for that matter. So long elementary school ( at least for one of my kids) middle school we will see you on August. My girl will start 4th grade in August and she is a smart little girl I tell ya.
Can't wait to see what the next school year has in store for us. Until then bring on SUMMER fun! Camping, beach trips and long hot summer nights. Yes Please!

Xo,
KB

Watching the sadness of the world with your kids.

Today as I watched the news special on the devastation in Oklahoma my kids both stopped on the way up the stairs and they were glued to the stories of children just like them that survived being in a school that no longer existed after the tornado hit. They were both in shock and sad, I remembered what I had heard during the Boston attacks to remind your child to look for the medical workers during a tragedy. This allows are children to focus on the "Good" during all the sadness. It reminds them that then even in sadness and loss in the world it is still filled with good people doing good deeds. I do sometimes struggle with the things my kids are subjected to on the news however that is reality, the world we live in is full of sadness, evil and bad choices. I want my children to understand that there will always be good, that being good means making good choices and helping others when there are in need. I want them to live a full life with as much joy as possible however I want them to learn cope with loss and tragedy as it happens everyday. On a day of such tragedy a video went viral of a young 17 year old who passed away yesterday of terminal cancer. He is a tower of strength and wisdom, knowing his time was limited he loved, went to school and spent time with his family and friends. He wrote his feeling and eventually recorded these songs. These songs that would last forever for his parents and siblings. He had one simple message that he wanted to leave behind and that's to make others happy. Give happiness; that seems so simple yet we know the feeling of something so small making us upset. That 22 minute video changed my out look on what is really important and how I want to be remembered when my time comes. It's not about the stuff I have or the things I do it's how we impact and treat other everyday. I talked with my kids about the video and we watched it together, I explained that sadness was a part of death but that this young man had made peace with his illness and death. He left a legacy that he could be proud of, he is after death impacting more lives than I am sure he ever imagined. I don't want my kids to think about dying quite the opposite actually I want them to focus of LIVING life to the fullest everyday not just when you get sick. Help others, smile more and make others happy! While doing those things your will certainly make yourselves happy.
So tonight I pray for this young mans parents, siblings and family I pray for comfort and peace for them. I also pray for all those in Oklahoma suffering loss of loved ones, homes, memories and much more. Please squeeze your loved one a little tighter and live your life to the fullest everyday, I am not saying life won't throw you curves but the ability to wake up and have a redo is amazing.
Tonight I also hope that parents are taking the time to explain the good in all the tragedy in this world we live in. Hug a little tighter and remind them how loved they are. Tomorrow when you wake up think of times throughout the day that can make others happy.

Xo,
KB

You are cordially invited....'Period Parties'...Really?

Lets get this out there for all my Mom Friends with daughters or hell all you Mom's Period! (No pun intended).

I recently heard about Mom's throwing there daughters 'Period Parties' from a fellow blogger and felt compelled to explain this to my friends before you heard about it from your daughters, These parties are complete with invitations, red velvet cake and tampon games. Are you people for REAL? I would have KILLED my mom had she tried to do that, I would have been mad if I would have heard her tell anyone that I would have started my period. There are some things better left unannounced to your friends or family. Here is my take on this....

1. Does the invitation say 'Join my cycle celebration...where I become an overly hormonal bitch once a month and will most likely rip your face off'? I mean really? Do you want to watch me bloat, cry and take Midol like its candy sounds fun uh!
2. Who do you invite? Your besties, aunts, grandmothers, Moms friends, where is the line drawn there?
3. Do they bring you there favorite brand of tampon or pads as gifts?
4. Play games with Tampons??? Last time I checked tampons weren't cheap.... I mean I haven't bought them in like four year. Praise Jesus! However the only time a child should 'play' with a tampon is when they are toddlers and you NEED a shower, that's it!
5. Red Velvet cake is just wrong... I would NEVER eat that again if I ate it at a 'Period Party'.

I guess this may be a matter of opinion, but I believe this right of passage is not party worthy. Unless you call a heating pad, some medication, and a chocolate bar in your bed a party. That is what I will be offering my daughter one day... And maybe a get of jail free card for being a hormonal nightmare once a month. This is a big change in a young girls life, it will be around for a long time however I will not celebrate cramps and bloating for my girl with 20 of our closest friends. What about you?!

I am also hoping for a few more years before some unnamed little girl starts this not so exciting time in her life. but when she does I will be ready with a shoulder for her to cry on and the reminder that it happens to all girls. My welcome 'womanhood' will be shared a little less public and defiantly wont involve invitations, tampon games and a red velvet cake.

Xo,
KB

Dear Son: Some advice for surviving your Pre Teen year!

So parenting is a challenge to say the least, your child is there own person, has a mind of their own and will do things even if you thought or told them not to. Here is a list of things for my son to remember as we embark on a new adventure known as the "Pre" Teen years.

Dear Caleb,

1. I was once you age (I know its hard to believe)
2. When I ask you to do something, I am not asking if you would 'like to do it???' I am telling you to do it!
3. I know when you are lying to me... Remember that.
4. Apologizing to your sister isn't supposed to sound like this: "Thanks for getting me in trouble stupid"
5. DO NOT TELL ME NO!!! (enough said)
6. Admit when you are wrong.
7. Learn from your mistakes
8. Ask for help, I believe you have entered the phase of life where you think you know everything but you DONT. Trust me.
9. Always try your best. You are not going to be good at everything. Some things will come easy and other things will be hard but that doesn't mean you cant do it!
10. When you make that face at me... Remember I created it.
11. Never throw the first punch, walking away makes you the bigger person even if it doesn't feel like it at first.
12. Put the toilet seat down, PLEASE!!
13. Help others who need it.
14. You have a laundry basket please use it. Its massive in size so your excuse cant be "I cant find it".
15. Try your best in school.
16. Treat others the way you would want to be treated. Be respectful!!
17. Believe in yourself.
18. Sarcasm isn't always funny...
19. Pray
20. Love yourself and your family at the end of the day we will be here for you when it feels like no one else will. Always remember that I love you no matter what.

Xo,
Mom

I am sure there is more I will add to that over the next 6 years but for now those are top on my list. He isn't even 'technically' a pre teen until August but ending elementary school must be the start of this era. Where does time go?

Xo,
KB

It takes a Village!

There is an old saying; It takes a Village to raise children! I hole heartily agree with this saying. As I have gotten wiser and developed in my motherhood journey I have realized how judgmental we are of each other and by we I mean "us fellow mothers". I admit I am guilty of this as well. Judging the Mom in the super market who is in her yoga pants with her screaming out of control toddler or the Mom who's teenage son is yelling at her in a sports field parking lot.
I have been in both of those situations and more, and I will have many more "moments" with my kids. The point I am trying to make here is that we as Woman should be encouraging each other and giving an empathetic smile as you pass a situation you know nothing about. Each and every family is different, each child Is different, yet each child and parents will make mistakes each of them different. They and they alone are responsible for how they handle their children and their mistakes that's all you need to know; its not our job to judge them or tell our friends how they should parent or handle the situation. The bottom line is that if we spent more time encouraging each other or simply asking someone if they are okay instead of being so judgmental this world we live in could be a better place I believe this starts with our children, if you as an adult want to judge another adult before you know the real truth or the whole truth then go ahead but I have a huge issue with judging a child... That child was brought into this world and has a parent or guardian that has his or her best interest at heart! Remember back to your childhood to a time where you messed up and made a bad choice, think of how awful you felt about what you may have done and imagine if your neighbors and friends were judging you for being a kid and messing up. Childhood is a time to have fun, get into trouble, test the limits, sneak out of your house, the list can go on and on the point is that during this time you are molded onto the person you will be, you will excel you will fail you will disappoint you will be a great you make mistakes and over time you will grow up! I would love for my kids to be encouraged or taught a lesson instead of being judged or labeled for a mistake. I think parents forget about their own mistakes or their children's mistakes but please take a minute and remember that no one is perfect and that we all mess up from time to time. Motherhood is hard, I am encouraged by my fellow bloggers who share funny stories and make us feel not alone on this journey, I would just love to see more support for that person you may or may not know and instead of jumping to the worst case possible, just give an empathetic smile, or say a prayer for them because there may come a time in life when you yourself are in a similar situation.
I wish we mothers could stand together in our journeys, we could learn from each other, teach other, drink wine together, cry together, and laugh together and more importantly enjoy watching our children grow up and learn from their mistakes.
So today, tomorrow or in a week think about a moment where you could have used a smile instead of a stare filled with disappointment and try to make someone else's "moment" a little less harsh! This boils down to just trying to be better people ourselves and remembering we all have the same goal here; to raise our kids and get through each day to the best of our ability.

Rant over!
Xo,
Kat

Kylee Madison Turns 9!

I am a little late on this post but my girl turned 9 years old on April 2nd. I cannot believe she is 9 it seems like yesterday that she was a little 2 year running around with pig tails. Today we don't have pig tails but she is still is as cute as a button and the apple of my eye.
She is so fun and spirited, I couldn't imagine my little family of 3 without her. She brings so much fire and spunk to our daily lives.

She is:
Fashion savvy
lovable
Sporty
compassionate
helpful
strong willed
independent
self confidant
loud
smart
funny

She is all of that and more, she can be as sweet as can be one minute and mean and dramatic the next second. If she doesn't like something she isn't afraid to tell you. She is a Mama's girl for sure, she loves to snuggle with me and still sneaks in my bed in the middle of the night to sleep. She is a girl full of big dreams, dreams that she will travel the world and help people. I pray everyday that God will harvest something in her spirit that will harvest that desire. Where ever life takes her I cant wait to go along for the ride.
Her favorite foods are: Extreme Cheese Goldfish, Ice Cream( And this girl can EAT some goldfish she is currently on a 2 bag a week regiment) and Mac N Cheese. She currently takes Tumble and Cheer, and became the little basketball star this past winter (like her Mama and she is super defensive thanks to her Big Brother) She is currently mastering her round off back handspring and is excited to try out for Competition Cheer in May. She loves to sing and play outside with her friends. She is quite the artist; loves drawling and crafts like her Mama. She also loves anything fashion the girl as her own taste in clothes for sure.

Love you to the Moon and Back my girl. Cant wait to watch you grow more this next year into the 'double digits' as she says. And oh the hormones are raging so hoping this isn't a sign for her teenage years.. If she wanted to become a vegetarian I might be okay with that.

9 year old photo shoot picutres coming soon!

Love you baby girl!
Xo,
Mommy

Show Mercy!

My son is learning to be a giving little man and I love it. I am so proud of who he is becoming, he has so much compassion and love for other people. He attends a Christian school and is learning how to use Christ in his daily life. His teacher is amazing, she helps with a christian mission organization that feeds the homeless on our own city streets. She started off by encouraging the kids to make care packages for the homeless, so on Thanksgiving, Christmas and Valentines day instead of the parents sending in 'party' stuff for them each family donated an item to pack a bag lunch for thirty homeless men. Caleb was so encouraged to know that even at his age he could help someone in need. His desire to help others has blossomed, and with the encouragement of his teacher we were invited to hit the streets and serve dinners and pray with people and encourage them; really just be there friends! I have to admit, taking my boy to the streets in the dark made me a little nervous but I had been searching for a place for him to start serving and learning to help others and then it hit me this was our chance.
We prayed in the car on our first trip and I just took a minute to remind him they are just like you and me but down on there luck. They deserve to be loved, helped, and treated with dignity and respect. We got out of the car and it was like he belonged there. No fear, talking to people, telling jokes and laughing was really a melt my heart moment.
Long story short we had the chance to go back last night and I tried to talk him into staying home, I was tired and had things to do, but I took a deep breathe and remembered that this was a blessing and I should thankful that my son wants to help others. So we took Kylee to Grandma's grabbed a quick dinner and headed to Charlotte; just like the last time it was like he belonged there. Laughing and talking with these guys passing out socks and dinners with a smile on his face. I am asking that you pray for Caleb and his heart, his giving heart that God would lead him to something GREAT with this new passion of helping others. To top off my Mom fail this morning he was leading chapel at school and he wanted to make a 'sign' with card board in the garage ( Let me tell you mornings are crazy around here trying to get out of the house) so I argued with him for a bit and finally was just like 'fine' take it!
I was blessed enough to attend chapel this morning and see Caleb's vision come to life. He took the cardboard and wrote in black letters 'SHOW MERCY', and I had a flood of guilt but it was over powered  with pride for my boy, he gets it I thought to myself. I was grateful for the reminder myself. Sometimes life gets crazy and we can get stuck in ruts and we can feel like we are just living for ourselves but always remember there are people out there that are in real need and even if you don't have lots of extra money or time every little bit can help.
If you are interested in donating items for us to take please let me know. They take socks, coats, backpacks, men's and woman's shirts and pants. If you take anything from this, remember to Show Mercy on others.And remember to listen to your children, it might not always be what you want to do but its what you need to do.
I am excited to continue this journey, to watch Caleb grow and to grow as a family!
So Blessed!
Xo,
Kat

Parenting with Tough Love

I read a great article the other day that my Mom sent to me, it was about teaching our kids about failure. At first thought I was thinking I don't want my kids to fail and then it dawned on me that it is because I have lived failure in more than one sense. Friendships, love, education, tests, and the list goes on. However if we as parents don't allow our children to learn how to cope with failure how will they cope when they are adults?! Most likely they would grow up blaming anyone and everyone and thinking that the world owed them something. So with this article I realized that I want my kids to live life and all that goes with it including failure, whether its self inflicted or caused by something worldly. Life will be full of choices for them, you make choices everyday and all the choices we make have a consequence whether they are good or bad. I want them to learn to make the best choices but the reality is in order to learn to make the better choice they will have to make the bad choices that in return could cause failure of some kind. This is tough because with failure comes the emotions that lead us to question our ability to do things, it can rock us to our core. I am being reminded that through the eyes of my son that sometimes failure can be sad and can cause defeat and doubt in oneself. My job as his Mom is to remind him that with hard work, effort and dedication he can achieve any goal and over come any obstacle if he puts his mind to it.

As parents with need to remind ourselves that we are not here to provide our children with all the luxuries in life and make them as comfortable as possible. Our job is to provide them with there basic needs and show them love and guide them into growing into the young adults we know they can be. Every age, event, triumph, heartache, loss, and even failure will mold them into who they will become. I feel positive that with a lots of guidance and resilience children can overcome anything.

I do not want to raise selfish children; I want to raise confidant, caring, honest, hard working and resilient children that will grow up knowing how to face failure and any other challenges that come their way.

I know this phase of change is just beginning for my house and I am interested in seeing how life progresses and the things we will conquer as a family!!

The best advice I can give myself is to keep the faith, pray, encourage each other and love everyday! And to remind myself that I too I am only human, I too have bad days and cry and yell but at the end of the day its all going to be okay and the best part is that tomorrow is a new day for us all! So here is to what I learned yesterday, lived today and whatever tomorrow will bring.

Xo,

Kat

Confessions...Honesty at its finest!

Alright I haven't done this in a while so here it goes...

1. I have been doing a cleanse, clean eating, no eating I am doing great on this program but let me tell ya I am feeding my kids crap food! Need to get better with that but lets be honest the thought of cooking a meal while I am drinking liquid hasn't been a high priority for me = Mom Fail
2. Spring sports are back in full swing and I am already OVER driving all over town 3 nights a week!!
3. Caleb was out of school for two days sick 2 weeks and we are still making up school work= Makes me want to pull my hair out. 
4. I think every bath towel and dish towel in our house is dirty at the moment and I have contemplated just going to buy more instead of doing the laundry, then I realized that will just be more laundry...Boo!
5. The block feature on Verizon is an Awesome feature, no more info required :)
6. Saw Bon Jovi in concert this week... LOVE him!
7. Forcing my kids to eat breakfast is exhausting... so I have resorted to giving them a complete sugar high; Chocolate Crescent rolls thanks Pinterest!
8. School Uniforms are great until you go on Laundry Strike! Blah
9. I hate Kylee's hamster... and hate here is an understatement. He bites, eats and poops! Oh and my fav is his odor!!!! Someone said give him a bath?! What?! No way that would require holding him..No thanks. Anyone want a hamster named George?! Anyone?
10. Projects for Elementary children are really designed to see how much hair a parent can pull out over the course of 2 months.... Large map, state flag, alliteration booklet, 3 page research paper (Really?! Cause ya my ADHD kid can read a book, take notes and write a 3 page paper on his own, NOT!) Then he has to prepare a food dish popular in the area and dress up like he could be visiting there! Seriously I know more about Utah then I ever cared too, so that I can 'help' write a paper with Caleb. Middle school is just going to SUCK!!

I feel a little better, I guess I am going to go home and do LOTS of laundry tonight since its uniform free day at school tomorrow, getting my priorities straight! On the bright side they will have clean shirts next week.

Happy Thursday!

7 pounds in 4 days Cleansing.. Are you curious?

This week began the next chapter for me. I had been following a lady on facebook who sells a product called Isagenix.

This is a cleanse product that can be found here http://www.isagenix.com/us/en/home.dhtml

This is a cleanse to rid your body of toxins and bring out the best you possible!

I have been on this program for 4 days YES only 4 days and I feel amazing.

This product has helped my overall mood and lets be honest I am not just saying this, today is my 2nd cleanse day for the week and I haven't consumed any food in a day and a half and I feel great!

This product is known to:

• Energy Boost
• Consistent weight loss over time
• Reduced cravings for unhealthy food
• Improved muscle tone
• Balanced digestion

I think I have heard the word cleansing a lot in the social media world lately, it seems to be all the rage.

Since I suffer from IBS and typically have a hard time cutting out certain items from my diet so I was hesitant. But since we are being honest there was A LOT more that I should have cut out a long time ago that I didn't so I made the leap. And so far so good.

The purpose of cleansing the body....

To dissolve and eliminate toxins and congestion that have formed inside your body.

To cleanse the kidneys and the digestive system.

To purify the glands and cells throughout the entire body.

To build a healthy blood stream.

To keep youth and skin elasticity regardless of our years.

To lose excess weight.

To increase energy, and mental clarity

Please check out the website and if you have any questions or would like to try the product let me know.

This is still new to me but I am telling you I have never felt better, In just four days I went from hitting the snooze button four or five times in the morning to waking up almost an hour before the alarm goes off and feeling energized and ready for the day. And the best part is I am on NO CAFFEINE!! No headaches or shakes or tummy issues. Just lots of water.

Here is to the next 26 days...stay curious!





Open up our eyes!

Sometimes in life we have someone who seems like they have a mission to bring us down and make us feel we are not worthy! I have that someone front and center. Its a very hot and cold relationship, I wouldn't call it a friendship but we harbor each others deepest secrets and know each other better than anyone else.

Sometimes the words hurt, they have built up over the years and made me feel like I maybe I am not worthy of his love! But the truth Is I already have someone who is worthy of my love and  he loves me no matter what I do or say, I am forgiven and I am new each and everyday.

A Friend posted the elevation worship cd on facebook and without hesitation I purchased the cd, not just a song but the whole cd last night. It has truly spoken to my heart in a way I couldn't have imagined 16 hours ago. That is the power of God.

'Open Up Our Eyes'

Greater is the one who's in us
Greater is the one who calls our name
He will never fail
Stronger is the one within us
Stronger is the one who fights for us
He will never fail
You will never fail

For Your love endures forever
Oh Your love endures forever
Open up our eyes, surround us with Your light
Your love endures forever

Mighty is the one who's for us
Mighty is the one who's strong to save
He will make a way
You will make a way

For Your love endures forever
Oh Your love endures forever
Open up our eyes, surround us with Your light
Your love endures forever

Our God is fighting for us always
Our God is fighting for us all
Our God is fighting for us always
We are not alone, we are not alone

Our God is fighting for us always
Our God is fighting for us all
Our God is fighting for us always
We are not alone, we are not alone
We are not alone, we are not alone

For Your love endures forever
Oh Your love endures forever
Open up our eyes, surround us with Your light
Your love endures forever

Our God is fighting for us always
Our God is fighting for us all
Our God is fighting for us always
We are not alone, we are not alone
We are not alone, we are not alone
We are not alone, we are not alone

For those moments you either cant fight it or are afraid to fight it alone, always know that he is here for you.

These words inspired me to wake up today and be happy and joyful for I was reminded I am NOT alone.

No matter what journey or path I choose he will always be right there beside me even if no else is.

He will give me strength and grace!

I have failed many times and will continue to fail but with his Grace I can get back up and do it again.

I am embarking on this journey to finding me finding happy finding something more... I am confidant that there is more out there for me. Something big and its so close I can feel it.

Please check out the song that has awaken me in a way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbZbsQyiQVI

If you have a song that empowered you, or helped you through a tough place please share with me.

Hope you all have a blessed day for you are not alone!

Finding a new version of me!

The last 3 years have been a Journey!

A journey of sadness, excitement, frustration, exhaustion, anger, jealousy, and every now and then shear terror. The kind that makes you question everything you do.

Three years ago I walked away from something I thought I had wanted so badly, actually someone. Someone that I loved, that I laughed with, cried with, had children with but that same person was the one that hurt me the most, he lied to me, he took a lot from me, he beat me down, and made me feel like nothing;  yet I still thought I loved him!?!

One day I woke up and thought to myself you couldn't possibly love him after all he has done to you, so I decided after TEN years that I was done. That I had given him way more chances than he deserved, that he would NEVER change, but more importantly he wasn't my Prince Charming.

Not the kind in fairy tales the kind here in REALITY.

The kind that told you were beautiful, encouraged you, wanted to be with you, the kind that told you his secrets and introduced you to his family (Before your were prego with his 1st born). I just realized there was so much more I wanted out of life and so much more I deserved. I wanted to really feel LOVE. Not just give it but receive it!

I wanted to be appreciated and doted on and made to feel like a princess and the next Truth is I would have settled for every once in a while not everyday.

In realizing that I could do it all alone because I had always done it all alone I made the leap and said I am done and meant it for the first time in 10 years!

Reality...I was done with his SHIT and I was to the point that I would rather be alone than do everything alone and not have a partner.

Most of you are thinking good for you he sounds Awful, and he was but that feeling of relief didn't last long.

It was followed by some depression and wonder if I would ever find real love and even questioning if I made the right choice.

Fast forward 3 years.. I am the big 30, and I still have not met MR.Right!

At first the thought of that makes me sad but then again I know I am part of a bigger plan. I know and trust that God has a bigger plan for my life.

I have realized that I do have Love in my life, in its most pure form the love of not one but two children who are my world.

Even though they make me CRAZY sometimes they are my Loves!

Sometimes you wonder why things happen the way they do but at the end of the day you have to just TRUST that its they way it was meant too.

I am blessed beyond words and I am excited to see what lies ahead on this journey.

Things in the future to talk about...

1. DATING... Say WHAT???

2. Not parenting with Guilt

3. Being the best Mom you can (And Dad)

4. Making sometime for ME!

5. Excepting help when you need it.

6. Loosing Weight

7. Managing my STRESS

8. Volunteering More

9. Taking down the Walls I created

10. Trying to Love again... One day, Get over the FEAR

Those are all things I need to work on over the next year. This is a little late for the resolution thing, I am also aware that a few if not all may take more time than 365. I will have good days and bad and I am okay with that. One day at a time is all I can do anyway. Focusing on yesterday or tomorrow leaves no room for today!

Thanks to all you girls out there who have laughed with me cried with me and listened to me yell and scream when I needed you the most. I have to say I have been blessed with ladies who get me, accept me and Love me too.

Bieber Fever!

Kylee Madison has a big case of Bieber Fever!

She was surprised on Christmas Morning with tickets to Charlotte concert.

She was so excited, she had to wait a whole 26 days till the concert...I bought the tickets in June so I kept a secret from her for a LONG time a whole 6 months.

Tuesday January 22nd was finally here.. she had the outfit picked out for days so she packed it into a bag and headed to school, I was hoping she would have a good day and not get into trouble being overly excited.

I left work a little early and we got ready to go. Her cousin Madison had just turned 16 and got tickets for her Birthday so we were had her and her sweet friend Mac ride with us to ride with us. All girls in the car looking oh so cute we listened to JB music and headed towards uptown.

I managed to get them to stop and eat @ Brixx uptown where we could see the madness. Thankfully dinner lasted about 25 minutes from start to finish and these girls were running down the street.

Once we entered the arena Kylee was in Awe.

We found our seats and they were great!! (Thanks to me) No floor seats but lower level 5th row up. Not to shabby she was so excited that she could see and that we weren't way up there..In the nose bleeds.

The count down has started 1minunte, and things got loud by 20 seconds it was so loud the floors were shaking! This face eventually became a screaming girl!

Right before the lights went out..By the way how cute is she???

This was so cool, there were light shows, fireworks and even a flying Justin Bieber

We had the best time together.

She jumped up and down with her hands up, of course she made friends with the girls around us and we had a blast dancing and singing the words.

As we walked out of the arena she was holding my hand she looked over and said "This was the best night EVER"!! And I agree it was one of our best mother daughter nights so far.

I cant wait to see what we can come up with in the future!

Love my Girl!