My response to Mrs.Hall's open letter to teenage girls...

First of all I know this may spark a debate and I am okay with that, these are my feeling on the topic although from what I have read I am not alone.

If you some how you didn't read her article google it, you may want to read it before you read my opinion. I am going to turn this a bit and write a letter to my son on this topic the way I think it should be done.

Dear Caleb,

It is my job to teach you, and guide you to the best of my ability.I want to show you as your Mother how to treat a woman, how to be a respectful boy and the real value a woman not for her just her looks but for her heart, for how she treats you and much more.  I want to tell you those feelings that you are having are completely normal, it is how the body is supposed to react, it just needs to be managed properly until your older. In a non realistic way I would love to shield you from the sin of the world, I would love to put a blind fold on you until your eighteen years old so that you may possibly not fall to the way of the world & become sexually active far too early however the reality is we will live in a culture where it is believed that sexiness is power, and power wins.

My sweet boy I can not parent you in fear the way Mrs. Hall is, I need to parent you with my eye's wide open so that I can watch for those moments to arise when you need to be taught. They are to be called by there names when being referenced they are to be respected & not treated as sexual objects. A young woman should to be reminded not to show off her body and to be discreet about whom she shows it to however when she doesn't; it doesn't give you the right my boy to look at her any differently. A girl who wears too much make up or dresses provocatively is looking for one thing and that's attention, she doesn't realize that this isn't the attention she wants she just wants to be noticed or liked. Turning your back on this girl or having me forbid you to look at her will only encourage you to do so more frequently. Instead you should be showing her compassion & grace. Pray for her. I want you to understand that you need to RESPECT ALL WOMAN!!! Not just a certain kind.   

 I want you to be wise, to show strength and to know your boundaries. I want you to be able to handle yourself like a gentleman even when you find a woman sexy. Mrs Hall mentions raising men with a strong moral compass, well maybe she has forgotten or had her head to far in the sand to see the men with strong morals who struggle with sexual lusts everyday from husbands to pastors to elected officials to the President of the United States.
My goal is to educate you on the facts make you aware of your body, make you aware of your role as a young boy. I don't want you to feel ashamed, I don't want you to feel guilt, I don't want you to be afraid to talk about your feelings, I want you to ask questions, I want to talk openly about sex, I want to be there to answer your questions.

I want you to feel secure in your sexuality and know that it is normal. I do not want to shame you for having these feelings for shame will push you into a direction I do not want for you. We cannot control how others dress, we cannot control how they act, or what they do but we CAN control how we REACT to any situation. This is where Grace comes into play, we all deserve it, we can all have it we just need to know when to ask for it.

I do think about you growing up and falling in love and the kind of girl you will meet. However today you are 12, you are going to fall into love, you are going to fall into lust, you are going to kiss and hold hands you are going to make mistakes, and inevitably you are going to get hurt that is all part of growing up. So is learning your body, learning your passions and following your heart. I will be right next to you the whole way, guiding, reminding, teaching you. I am going to set boundaries, and make you follow rules, I am going to be honest with you even when you don't want to hear it, I am going to catch you when you fall, and I am going to show you the world my boy so that one day you will be able to fly on your own in this messy life we live in. I am not going to shelter you, I am going to teach you right from wrong and hope that you have not only self respect but RESPECT for all Woman. I want you to own your life, own your mistakes, own your actions for no one is in control of your life more than YOU.

All my love,

Mom

To all the girls out there looking to date my son be real, be honest, respect yourself, be warm, be loving, and be willing to eat lots of CHICKEN! HA!

I do not take this lightly however I would rather teach my son to RESPECT instead of telling him who isn't good enough for him. This is with all things, life isn't perfect its full of imperfections. I do not believe this mother set out to hurt young girls while protecting her sons but inevitably that is what she did, she judged them, she said they weren't good enough for her son's and then ultimately rejected them. I want my son to learn that some people aren't meant to be, that you wont love every girl that loves you, that some will do things he doesn't like, that some will hurt him, that he will hurt some and that is all okay. However lets still Respect them, and not treat them like an object or as though they aren't good enough for you. Remember the lessons we teach our children help make them into the adults they will become.

If you have any thoughts please share. I am interested to see if any of you picked up on the side of the story.

Xo,

KB